Monday, October 31, 2016

Second Chances and New Resolve


(This is Day 31 in  write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Lisa and her husband stepped into the church office, both feeling very awkward and unsure.

Neither wanted to admit how much work they had to do to repair their marriage, but both had enough resolve to want to stay together. Their first step was to go see their pastor, and probably from there, go to counseling.

They loved each other and loved their children. Things had just been off kilter for a while and caused them to drift apart. They had allowed temptation and sin to come between them. It was time to rebuild and strengthen their relationship so this didn’t happen again.

Lisa was so encouraged that her husband had agreed with her that things weren’t going well and they’d better get help. That spoke volumes to her and showed her how much he cared.

They both listened intently as their pastor started speaking to them about what a Godly marriage looked like. He spoke about both of them working on their own relationships with the Lord so they were healthy and able to work on the marriage and family life together, that neither were meant to fill the other.

That was God’s job, theirs was surrender and obedience to the Lord.

By drifting away from the Lord and each other, it had created gaping holes of need in their lives. Their holes that they were seeking to fill could only be filled by the Lord.

Lisa left so grateful for second chances and the opportunity to fall in love with her husband and Jesus all over again.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Reader,

Thank you so much for following along on my first “Write 31 days” adventure!

My intention with this series was to open eyes to the attacks and deviousness of our enemy, Satan. When you think that bad things are happening, you feel thwarted, or you battle with the same issue over and over you might be dealing with an attack of the enemy!

Let me just tell you how difficult this became at times! Satan did not leave me alone, I dealt with my own temptations and struggles the whole way through. It seemed that he was not very happy with my attempt to uncover some of his schemes.

I persevered and drew on the Lord’s strength. I knew this was important and that God was going to speak to someone through it.

These three women in my story dealt with many feelings that they allowed to dictate outcomes in their lives.

Mary believed that where she was in life wasn’t the best outcome or future. The reality is that all life has seasons. When you are raising kids, your life goes through so many stages, especially when the kids require more of mom than they do of dad. Mary wished for a different lifestyle. She was not finding her contentment in the Lord and her satisfaction from worshiping Him in her life right where she was at. God’s calling for her life at that moment was to raise those kids and Mary needed to know that there was no higher calling, no greener grass waiting somewhere else. The temptation of a new man in her life comes in as being pseudo innocent and unassuming. Satan has the simplest of ways of infiltrating our psyche and thought processes. We MUST stay vigilant and recognize sin for what it is and choose to follow Christ each and every day.

Lisa was a different story. She and her husband both worked, and she consistently felt not good enough. She felt she had to prove herself every day, that her approval was wrapped up in achievement and her abilities. We are ALL good enough in Christ. He made us each unique and He loves us individually. God is able to provide us with everything we need to succeed in the life He placed us in, all we have to do is ask. We must move our selfish pride out of the way, choose surrender of self, and accept His best for our lives. Lisa also battled with a temptation of another man. Her marriage was missing strength in Christ, just as Mary’s did. Both spouses had a deficit and were not filling it with the things of Christ. When you find yourself in place of longing, emptiness and want, it is typically because you are not seeking Christ first and asking Him to fill your needs.

Anne’s fight was with identity. She struggled to overcome her past and chose to not follow in her parent’s examples. She also battled with an onslaught of thoughts and feelings that the enemy tried to bury her in. I am convinced that the hardest part of recovery for some is their thought life. Guilt, shame, remorse, regret and self-loathing all have the power to defeat and leave us in a place of soul desolation. We can appear put-together on the outside, but inside we anguish. There are 2 very important things we can do as Christians to overcome our battle in the mind. 1) Obey God when He says in 1 Corinthians 10:5 to capture every thought and bring it into obedience of Christ. 2) We have to surrender our weakness and desire to wallow in our pain. Its actually a form of pride and self-centeredness. It might not feel that way, but the attack focuses oneself completely on SELF. It’s hard and we must be diligent. I can speak from experience that it’s an each and every moment activity until you reach the point of overcoming. God will deliver you, it is in His will that you be free! You have to want it and you have to be faithful to obey and do it. It’s not a one time thing. It will be something you experience the rest of your life, but once you practice and know what to do, it will not be as difficult.

Thank you for reading this month, it was my pleasure to explore this and stick to writing for 31 days straight.

I’m planning on November’s blogs focusing on what the bible says about gratitude. It’s not your typical thanksgiving focus, it’s more about the promises God gives when we are grateful and what happens to change our hearts when we are grateful.


See you in November!

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Choosing to be a Victorious Warrior

(This is Day 30 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Lisa had been working late to complete some elements on her next presentation. She had decided to stay at work to finish it instead of going home, there were so many distractions at home.

She glanced up to see her “him” leaning against her door jamb. She practically had fire alarms going off in her head! She hadn’t realized that he had stayed late, Lisa thought she was all alone. 

It was time to make a choice, this was the threshold at which she’d either cross the line or choose to remain pure.

He asked if she wanted to order in dinner to share. Lisa actually started to perspire…why should this decision be so hard?

Something sparked in her head, like a big warning sign.

Lisa knew better, she loved her husband and family. It was like something was working against her to shove her over the line. Every justification she could come up with suddenly paled next to what she had and what she knew to be right; not to mention the fact that Lisa didn’t actually want to break up her marriage. She just wanted it to be healthy, inspiring, fun and dependable.

From the time he asked about dinner and 5 seconds later she had made her choice. Even though it may be hard, she wanted her marriage to work, she wanted her kids to have a happy, God-fearing family to grow up in and to be able to trust their parents to point them in the right direction.

She knew when she told her coworker no for dinner it was the first of many rebuffs that would be coming, but she knew with God’s help she could remain firm.

Lisa left work that night feeling so hopeful and triumphant! She felt like the Holy Spirit had protected her. Additionally, Lisa felt God had helped direct and convince her to make to right choice.

Now to talk with her husband….



Dear Uncle,

I have encountered the Hosts of Heaven and the power of the Son.

Never before have I been thwarted in such a terrifying manner. 
They were everywhere! I had no hope!

As I began working my way into her thought process, and giving her ideas of fantasy with this guy from work, all of a sudden we were surrounded by blinding light and I felt my body go flying into the next room!

After I came to, I realized what had happened.

They covered her, and I could see her changing the plan I had so carefully crafted.

It would’ve worked, I know it!

I am so tired of being cast away from my assignments! I should’ve never accepted the higher risk ones. 

As I have suspected, the discipline team is coming for me. I hope to survive.

I think I will need easier targets next time. It is impossible to contend with the Chosen Ones when they open their eyes and realize who they are.


Sepitus

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Competing for Worst Wound

(This is Day 29 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Lisa and her husband had a chance to have dinner out together, which hardly ever happened! The kids went to grandma’s house after school that Friday, so they agreed to meet downtown after work.

What should’ve been a time to reconnect and nourish each other and their marriage turned into a competition. He talked about all his work projects and Lisa tried to compete by talking about all her work stresses too.

It felt like they were trying to one up each other to prove who had the tougher job. What Lisa really needed was for him to say that he understood and supported her, that she looked beautiful tonight and that he was happy to spend time together. 

Instead he got offended that she acted like her job efforts were equal to his efforts, and so He abruptly changed the topic to discuss the kids.

This didn’t help things much. It turned from one negative thing to another negative, contentious conversation. Neither parent was happy with the behavior of the kids lately and he seemed to blame Lisa.

Lisa suspected it was a direct reflection of their marriage. 

Her husband just wanted more discipline and maybe different daycare.

Lisa felt like it was merely putting a band aid on a gaping wound… their wound.

She was starting to think their marriage may need serious help. She assumed her husband might not be faithful and she knew she was dancing dangerously close to having an inappropriate relationship at work. 

She felt the need in her heart and the sting of the relationship falling apart. She thought he seemed oblivious...

How on earth did it get this far down the path?
What could she do to change it?
Did she really want to change it?
When was the last straw going to be?
Who was she turning into?

Dear Uncle,
At least I can still stir up dissentions in this marriage.

They seem destined to fight! Even if they weren’t on the rocks, I think they’d argue about everything.

 Nothing is ever good enough for either of them!

I have convinced her that he is cheating and so giving her permission to follow suit. Tomorrow at work will be the dangling carrot I give her to step down that path of  acting out the adultery she has in her heart.

Her rationalizations up to this point should tip the scales in my favor when she has to choose to do it.

The man we’ve found to entice her is perfect. He’s unattached and exciting. His attentiveness is what Lisa loves most. After all, it’s what I have convinced her she is lacking the most, acceptance and unconditional love.

Never mind that she’s heard over and over in church and in that wretched book of the Enemy that He Himself provides all the things she’s lacking. 

Since it’s not in her face and she must take it on faith, she doesn’t open her eyes and heart and see it.

Which, of course, is great for me.

I am getting some excitement back that I may be able to salvage my losses with Lisa!

Stay tuned!

Sepitus

Friday, October 28, 2016

The Beauty of Restoration

This is Day 28 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Mary and her husband walked hand and hand into the park.

A couple weeks had passed since he had confronted her about the relationship she was starting with another man. They both wanted to fight for their marriage, and chose to put God back on the throne of their hearts and relationship.

Mary had communicated to the friend that she was no longer able to be friends or have any further communication; they had crossed a line that could not be erased.

Mary’s husband had called their church later that week and asked about local counselors that they could seek. They could get in right away, which relieved Mary and they were able to begin the discussion of what broke and how to fix it. They had a road of recovery to walk, but they both realized that it was far better doing it together and with God’s help than trying to figure it out on their own.

Mary was keenly aware of her short comings but also wanted to make sure that her husband noticed what had been lacking on his part also. There was no way they’d be able to repair the damage done without both being willing to admit wrongs and choose to change.

Mary felt the weight lift off her shoulders when she confessed and repented from her sins. She prayed and asked God to renew her fervor to follow Him only. She recognized that she had focused too much on the little things that caused discontentment and chosen to not be grateful.

Her life was so blessed and Mary chose the mindset of thanksgiving instead of complaining. She knew that some things during her day would have to change, like giving God her first and best each morning before the family’s day got going. Getting her proverbial cup filled by the Lord each morning helped her focus better and truly live out her day in an act of worship.

Mary had such encouragement over where they were headed. She knew God could redeem from the pit of sin and that restoration was His specialty. Their marriage was back on track with the Lord as their foundation.

They vowed to hold each other accountable and to never let it slip that far again.



Dear Uncle,

I see what you meant in your last communication to me, that I have not given enough respect to the fact that they are Chosen Ones and have incomparable power available to them.

As you know, I have failed with Mary as well. My last hope is Lisa.

I have lost all confidence in my ability, but will give this one last shot.

I suspect after this is done, you will not hear from me for a very long time.

Humbly yours,

Sepitus

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Glimmers of Hope

(This is Day 27 in a write 31 days challenge. Click here for the title page )

That morning Mary’s husband opened their family laptop to check the news and his wife’s social media page was still open, there was also a chat box open.

It appeared to be some guy she knew. He felt kind of snoopy reading allof the messages but by the time he finished, Mary’s husband felt very alarmed about the state of their marriage.

Clearly his wife was not happy or she wouldn’t be talking to this schmuck the way she was. It appeared that they better have some deeper conversations or they weren’t going to make it. He instantly took blame and wondered how he had failed. However, the emotions competing alongside were hurt and fear of losing his beloved wife.

He sunk into the couch, placed his head in his hands… he didn’t know what to do.  He remembered that Scripture said if anyone asks for wisdom and asks for it that wisdom shall be given unto them.  Quietly, he prayed and asked God for wisdom.  He remembered then that God promised to never leave him nor forsake him.  He remembered that he was commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church, even to lay down his life for her.  He thanked God and asked for strength to approach his wife in a way that would be pleasing to God and consistent with His will.

As Mary walked into the kitchen, he approached her. He didn’t want to make her angry because then they wouldn’t have a good conversation, but he had to ask. Mary sensed something was up, her husband was acting strange.

As he approached, he said that she had left her social media window open last night. She knew instantly what had happened. Her sense of guilt and shame was a heavy weight on her shoulders.

How is it that last night she was so prepared to be deceitful and lie about meeting her friend and potentially cross a very forbidden line and right now the instantaneous knowledge of wrongdoing permeated her whole being.

She was ashamed that she had denied her own husband to spend time with this guy online last night and that she had found her comfort and relief from stress in a glass of wine instead of seeking the Lord and her husband.

Mary felt slightly indignant that he had snooped, but the reality was that she had something to hide and He discovered it, she was the one doing wrong and getting caught.

She dissolved into tears and humbly confessed her sins, asking God to forgive her and show her the way. Mary loved her husband and kids, she couldn’t figure out how she had been so duped into believing that life without them together could be better.

He took the day off from work and Mary called her mom to take the kids for the day.

The had some talking to do.



Dear Uncle,

I desperately need your guidance!

I am just not sure what I am doing wrong! 
I have worked so hard to develop this attraction and distraction for Mary. I have tried so hard to encourage her to be discontent at home! I have stirred lust and longing. I have pushed the buttons of insecurity and self-loathing.

I have stressed her and planted thoughts of not being worthy.
I have then presented solutions to her problems in the way of a new man and presented her with a fix to all her distress, a new future.

WHY has she not taken the bait and fallen yet?!

What have I done wrong??
Please help,
Sepitus



Dear young Sepitus,

I already knew this all would happen. 

We have hoped, here in the ranks, that you would be stronger than predicted.
As I suspected, you were not enough to change the outcome.

One thing you have taken for granted with these assignments and not clearly not respected enough is that they are Chosen Ones.

They are not in our kingdom, they are in His, our Enemy.
Our job was to make them defeated and ineffective.

The Chosen Ones have access at a moment’s notice to the power of the Son of God. His power far outweighs any defense you can put up.

The ones belonging to our world are the easiest targets, they have no access to Heaven. Our only hope is to not have heaven's attention truned onto us.

We thought perhaps you were ready for this kind of challenging assignment, you have proven otherwise.

I have no influence over what they do to you in the discipline department. I only hope you make it through and I can continue with your apprenticeship later.


Your Uncle Savant

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Dancing on the Razor's Edge

(This is Day 26 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Mary tried to connect with her friend on social media, as had become the evening usual for the last several weeks. He wasn’t around.

Mary noticed how sharp the disappointment hit her. She thought maybe she’d try later on that evening.

The kids went to bed and her husband was reading in bed. He had tried to approach her about spending some private time together, but she made up an excuse and went downstairs. On her way down, she poured a glass of wine, she felt the need to relax.

Their online conversation lately had gotten a little risky, Mary enjoyed it a little too much. She signed on and there was a message waiting from him. Her heart quickened as she gulped some wine. He apologized for missing out on their time earlier, but there was some family stuff going on.

They quickly pushed past the pleasantries and headed into flirting, as was the norm lately. He really wanted to connect over lunch sometime, Mary wasn’t sure how to get a sitter during the day without blatantly lying. Oddly enough, she wasn’t averse to it, she was just calculating all the details so she wouldn’t be found out.

It’s not like lunch together was that bad, it just leads to other questions and she didn’t feel like having to answer for her choices. By the time they wrapped up a 2-hour conversation it was midnight, she had two and half glasses of wine, which influenced her to forget to delete the conversation and log off.

When she went to bed, her husband was actually awake reading still, which completely annoyed her. Mary was hoping to slide into bed without having to answer his questions. 
Well, two things happened.

1- He asked why she had so much to drink, typically they only drank together and on special occasions, and 2- if she wasn’t feeling good enough to be intimate then why did she spend the evening drinking and surfing on the internet? 

Mary could tell he was angry and hurt. 

Time for some back peddling…quickly.



Dear Uncle,

After the devastating loss of Anne, I do feel like I am able to keep control over Mary, at least.

She’s far too engrossed with this internet friend. It is providing the exact distraction I hoped for! She’s invested enough that she’s making excuses, lying and getting defensive about it.

Her husband is going to be caught in the wake of this destruction of their marriage. He has no idea what’s going to hit. Mary is not only being unfaithful, but she will believe that this new guy wants to be with her permanently.

Once the new guy drops her, she will be left empty, bewildered, lonely and unable to cope with her deep unhappiness. 

She will have thought that this was her shot at the life she was supposed to have, but with his rejection, it will further confirm her own low self-esteem and self-loathing will once again set in.

However, now it’ll be terribly worse because she will have not only decimated her relationship with her husband and potentially the kids, but this illusion of a happier future will be dashed and sink her into deep depression.

I will make her worthless to her family.

I’ll update you tomorrow!

Sincerely,

Sepitus

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The White Robe

Anne didn’t feel particularly good about going to church this Sunday.

She longed to worship, but felt so guilty.

She felt like she was doomed to follow in her parent’s footsteps of alcoholism and like her mother, marrying into abuse. She needed a fresh brush of the Savior, but felt so fearful and unworthy. 

She blew it and nearly had a fatal fall. 

She felt like she would never actually heal and be someone different, she’d always be a victim of a bad childhood and it would mark her future forever.

No good man is going to want a girl with such baggage. What on earth did she think she was doing working with Women At Risk, what could she possibly offer? She herself hadn’t fully recovered, she had no business being there. Maybe she should call tomorrow and cancel her meetings.

She dragged herself to church out of duty and sat quietly by herself today so she could focus. Anne felt a strong urge to listening closely to the Lord's prompting today. She prayed God would have mercy on her and have some encouragement for her today. Anne needed the power of transformation that she intellectually knew God provided.

She just had to have the faith to make the step toward obedience.

The pastor began to preach a message on who we are in Christ. He hit points about not listening to Satan’s attempts to de-value us. 

He used an analogy of exchanging our filthy rags of self-directed living and sinful lives for the white robe of righteousness that Jesus provided for us by dying on the cross for us.


The pastor taught that so many believers forget what they have in Jesus Christ’s freedom and grace. How we often forget that we are wearing the robe of righteousness and a crown of an heir of heaven all day every day and that we just have to choose to live as we are called.

Anne felt Jesus calling her. 

Calling her to lay down her controlling plans and self-centeredness for His life of living in forgiveness, grace and freedom from the bondage of sin.

She could almost hear the cell door creak open and feel the chains falling.



Dear Uncle,

I don’t know what to say.
I am sorry.

I lost Anne.

I sit terrified of the discipline ranks that are coming to find me. They are ruthless.

I will double my efforts on Mary and Lisa.

Sincerely,

Sepitus

Monday, October 24, 2016

Best Laid Plans

(This is Day 24 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Anne could not focus on studying.

Her roommates had gone for the day and she had one gloriously quiet afternoon to study by herself in her room…but to no avail. All she could think about was this guy from the party. Questions just swirled in her head.

Why had she had so much to drink?

Why did she get so familiar with him so quick?

Was he just like the other guys, only wanting her for one thing?

Did he have better qualities than that?

Why did she not find out if He was a believer? 

Of course he had questionable character…. he pushed me to drink and tried to sleep with me!

Why am I so naïve?

Did God intervene to keep me safe?

Why, oh why did I drink last night?

Am I ever going to break free from this temptation to disconnect from stress by drinking?

Anne knew what she had learned from God’s word, it was just hard to choose it sometimes over what was in front of her at the moment. Anne’s intentions were to follow hard after Jesus, serve others and be a light. Somehow she found herself tripped up and face planting in the mud instead.

This was not her plan. 
She couldn’t shake the feeling that it seemed inevitable…it’s who she really was.



Dear Uncle Savant,

We are almost there!

She’s beginning to spiral downward. Her self-talk is destructive and convincing. Anne believes that if this is what she thinks about herself, what must others think about her?

I have also tweaked her thinking a little for her to believe that it’s “her” plan for her life, and not actually some supernatural, divine plan from our Enemy.

What this has done is made her responsible for the outcome.

She truly believes that if she doesn’t realize the plan she has made for her life that she’s failed and it must be because it’s the plan she had is not who she is destined to be. She was made how she was made and her predispositions are locked into her fundamental personality…unchangeable, not redeemable.

Anne will believe that somehow she’ll have to find a way to function with her broken upbringing, past, and self-actualized fears of becoming like her parents. All of this stress will dominate her thought life.

Instead of stress it will just seem to her like she’s pulling up her bootstraps and dealing, making plans, setting up a path, and trying hard to make the future she’s dreamed of.

This stress and unachievable plan will bury her. It will consume her. All of her decisions will be based in control of her life’s plan. It’ll be so much that she will seek opportunities to relax and disconnect from the stress.

Our world has perfected apathetic disconnecting. With creating the illusion of fun and stress relief we’ve developed a lovely vice that turns into addiction quickly. 

They simply “have to have” their stress relief.

Thank you for your direction with Anne, things are working perfectly!

Your apprentice,

Sepitus

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Nothing good happens after midnight

(This is Day 23 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Anne’s friends invite her to a party on the weekend. It’s on a Sunday night, so she’s not super excited because she had an early class Monday morning.

They push hard and badger her to hang out with them, so she caves but plans to leave early. When she walks in, the music is loud and the smell of beer is very strong. She’s learned not to drink the punch and get a can of Coke straight from the fridge herself. 

But tonight the good looking boy from the coffee shop is there, and he walks up with a can of beer for her.

In her dreamy-eyed fuzzy brain, she accepts the beer, it’s just one- no big deal. They have a great time talking, even though she could only catch some of what he said over the booming tunes.

Toward the end of the night, she’s had more than one beer…and he makes a clear move to take things further. Suddenly she hears someone calling her name at the door, it’s her friends and they are getting ready to leave. 

She has a moment of clarity and realizes what she was about to do, abruptly stands up and goes to leave with her friends.

Dearest Uncle Savant,

Well, I did it! I laid the foundation for Anne’s fall!

She caved in to attend a party with her friends. She caved in to have a beer from the guy she likes. She caved in to having far more than one.

The only thing left is to finish to temptation off with this boy she likes. Once I get her to be with him, he will drop her and her self-worth will plummet. Then I will kindly remind her that this was why her parents drank- to escape the pain of this world. 

A little evening of soaking her wretchedness in alcohol, wallowing in hurt, disappointment and failure will catapult my assignment into the orbit of cycling in and out of the same sin for years.

She won’t be able to bring herself out of the self-loathing she will have for falling the same way her parents did. She might even begin to justify some of the very things they did to abuse her with how bad they must have felt to go that low. She will begin to identify, and choose to hang around people that “understand her”.

All of this whipped up whirlwind of inner focus leaves no room for the Enemy. He couldn’t possibly fit into such a mind filled with our world and our methods.

I will be working really hard this week to focus her energy on daydreaming about the guy she likes. Imagining what might have happened had her friends not interrupted. She longs for someone to love her, accept her wholly as she is and approve of her.

I absolutely love that she has no clue that our Enemy is all of those things for her.

Who knows why He dotes over His worthless creation like He does, but the facts unfortunately are that He does provide that to them, if they figure out how to shirk off our efforts.

I am glad I have Anne so firm in my clutches that I don’t have to worry about getting thrown off any time soon!

Your persistent nephew,

Sepitus

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Come Back!

(This is Day 22 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

The new guy at work was totally overwhelming to Lisa.

He was so nice and attractive. She was trying very hard to keep pure thoughts but his attention to her made it difficult to not get the butterflies churning in her stomach.

He asked her to a business lunch, but they talked about very little business. He mainly focused on getting to know her and just intently listening, which unnerved Lisa considering he wasn’t used to her own husband paying much attention to her while she talked. It was so nice to connect with someone!

Lisa knew that there were red flags popping up all over the place, to steer clear and to remain professional. However, her cavernous need for love, affection and approval were pushing her reasoning out of the way. She knew what the bible said about how to behave as a redeemed believer, but she also knew that if she just flirted a little it wasn’t that bad…

...she could ask for forgiveness later.

Dear Uncle,

Once again, I stand amazed that your genius ideas on how to destroy marriages works like a charm.

How is it you know what these women and men will fall for? I think you mentioned one time that it’s something that has been around since centuries passed, but this temptation of the opposite sex just seems to be an especially potent one. You would think they'd recognize the pattern and avoid it!

My inventory of successes with Lisa up to now are: perfectionist, controlling, prideful, liar, complaining, judging, worthlessness, depression, self-focused, sabotaging self-talk, unresolved anger, and now lust, faithlessness, and adultery.

I’d say I’m feeling pretty good about my progress with her. As long as she wallows in all of this sin, I can’t lose.

The only real threat is if she wakes up one day and realizes how wretched she has become and falls on her face before our Enemy, asking for forgiveness…. Generally, at that point, all hope is lost.

I cannot figure out why our Enemy cares for this insipid lot so much, they are so weak and ridiculous in their simple little lives.


First of all, they have no idea the power that lies at their fingertips, and second of all, they have such pride built up and they focus so hard on all their accomplishments in this world as if this is it. Completely NO grasp of eternity and what matters.

I understand from your last report that we have quite a nice collection of souls for our side, which must mean we are pretty successful in this world at pulling them away from the Enemy’s clutches. I don’t want to seem arrogant, but the Hosts of Heaven have nothing on our power it seems. 

The only time I have noticed that we are powerless is if the Enemy Himself gets involved…then we are doomed.


Any thoughts on how we keep Him away from our assignments? 

I’d love to know your insight.

Your faithful apprentice,
Sepitus

Friday, October 21, 2016

The grass on the other side

(This is Day 21 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Mary looked forward to talking to her old friend on social media every day. They had set up a time so they wouldn’t miss each other, since both had busy schedules.

Today their conversation began with the usual how are yous and what did you do todays. 


The next bit was very different from the usual though. 


He actually wanted to talk about what was lacking in his marriage and the focus was on his intimacy with his wife. He felt so unappreciated and unwanted. His wife constantly was too tired, not feeling well or flat out just said no. She had no idea how hurtful the rejection was over and over. She had no idea that he felt so unloved. For her it was just one more thing to do, for him is was love.

She had no problem expecting him to fill her needs each day, but brushed his off week after week. Mary listened with sadness for him, but it actually excited her that he would share such private things with her. Mary wondered how best to answer him back. She wanted him to feel better, so she complimented him, telling him how handsome she thought he was and what a capable, amazing father he was. Mary even threw in the comment about “she doesn’t know how good she’s got it”.

He responded in gratitude and mentioned how he’d appreciate a woman like Mary. That maybe they should’ve pursued their relationship back in high school, maybe they’d both be happier now. When they signed off that night it felt like something major had changed. Mary actually contemplated what life might be like married to him instead.

She'd never actually divorce her husband...but if something ever happened..if she were a widow or something like that...

What exactly was broken in her marriage…Mary couldn’t put her finger on it, but it was clear that something wasn’t right and that she longed for something else.



Dear Uncle,

 I am so giddy with excitement!

My plan is working brilliantly with Mary! Her needs haven’t been met in her marriage for so long that she has justified receiving a sense of fulfillment from an outside person, one who barley knows her.

What’s amazing to me is that neither of them have any sense of warning or red flag that this immediate intimacy they feel with each other is unusual or wrong. It’s like their internal alarm systems are broke. They've justified it with those glorious lies we've developed about "love at first sight, soul mates and what the heart wants"

I guess that is what we aim for though, right? If they have enough sin in their lives that they are clouded and seeing through the blurred goggles of bondage to sin, they live life validating each step they take with the last. I am amazed at how small doses of guilt and shame keep them silent in their secrets and it manipulates their fear of being found out.

This of course perpetuates more secrets and lies.

I especially enjoy planting ideas of situations in which she would consider being with this new man permanently, like if her husband were to die. Such a diabolical thought process made into something light and laughable gets her thinking about it.

I have to make sure they are in deep before they are found out. I hope to encourage a self-righteousness indignant feeling once they are caught. Like they are angry for being caught and they deserve their wretched form of fake happiness they’ve found.

Thank you for your suggestion for Mary, you were absolutely right to suggest a temptation in the form of an inappropriate friend turning into an affair.

Very potent. Very powerful!

Your grateful apprentice,

Sepitus

Thursday, October 20, 2016

The stress of self sufficiency

(This is day 20 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

Anne was studying and had her earbuds in listening to worship music, but she constantly struggled to keep her thoughts focused.

It seemed like no matter what she did, some place or or someone would trigger a memory from her childhood abuse or bad feelings about her own shame. It seemed to haunt her. She tried to be vigilant with focusing on being free instead of being bound to the past.

She could tell it wasn’t just her own self she was battling. She knew who her enemy was, and she knew Satan would love to keep her in shame. It threatened her success as an adult, it threatened her self-worth, and threatened her resolve to help out at the women’s rescue.

Anne knew there must be some way out, there had to be. She thought she recalled a verse about God setting us free for freedom. Well, this didn’t feel like freedom, it felt like being attacked ALL the time. 

Anne wanted real victory and to be able to move on.

Before she knew it, her allotted study time was gone, she had accomplished nothing and now had to go wing a test she should’ve have been prepared for.



Dear Uncle,

I have been at work to gain back my position of power over Anne. She has been swirled in doubts and fears over her qualification to be of any help to anyone.

My goal is to get her to quit serving at the women’s rescue and I think the way to do that is to drown her in uselessness. She has to feel like she hasn’t overcome her own problems and therefore cannot possibly help others. It’d be like the blind leading the blind.

I have been successful in making her so busy that she seems to be slipping in her grades. My intentions are to focus her thoughts on how useless this last season of college courses is, that maybe she’d be better off quitting.

Her friends are putting up a good solid persuasion to get her to come to a party this weekend. I plan to capitalize on that. If I can get her to slip up in her testimony, make her choose something out of character for her, and then make her wallow in guilt and shame over that it will further solidify my quest to get her to quit the women’s rescue.

With having a failure so fresh on her mind, she won’t be able to overcome it.

Her church life has been very mediocre, thanks to all my distractions while she’s there. Her busyness has hindered her prayer time as well. Hoping that she feels completely disconnected from the Enemy, which gives me the opportunity to influence her to turn to other things for comfort.

I’d love to bury her in the very addiction she has such a fear of falling to. She hasn’t figured out that her ability to remain strong against it is to remain close to the Enemy. She still sees her parent’s choices as mistakes they made and that she could handle herself better.

All of this self-sufficiency will give a strong illusion of being able to control it. I cannot wait for her to make a fool of herself and pounce on her wretched feelings afterwards.

Your nephew,

Sepitus