Shame and Pride

     

(This is Day 11 in a write 31 days series. Click here for the title page )

     Lisa had lunch with some work gals today. The lunch fare was overpriced salads and husband bashing. 

It began with a lady named Sue who had a fight with her husband about what they were going to watch on TV and it escalated to how ungrateful he was for her and how unsatisfied he felt in the bedroom. This of course sparked lots of discourse and shows of support for Sue.

Lisa joined in, she had a plenty of ammunition considering she and her husband also had a disagreement the night before. They fought over her new project at work and how he would have to help pick up the slack with driving kids to and from places and chores at home. He felt like she ought to be able to just get those things done if she’d only wake up earlier, or stop binge watching that ridiculous show at night.

Lisa realized too late into the conversation with the work ladies that at the table next to her was a couple of friends from her church. She quickly tried to rewind what she said in her mind, checking to see if she swore or was too harsh, instantly feeling shame. Oh well, her pride bubbled up again, at least she wasn’t as bad as the other ladies, and after all, didn’t every one complain about their husbands now and again?

Dear Uncle Savant,

My plan today is to work on Lisa’s dissatisfaction with her marriage. If I can get that to crumble, then her entire way of life will be ruined.

I, of course, plan to give her an illusion that life would be ok without him, that though it may be painful in the short term, she’d be better off. She has to be convinced that she can do it without him and that there might be someone else out there truly meant for her.

I have to keep her from hearing that love is a choice. If she figures out that nobody has a perfect marriage and that choosing to love him is her calling as a wife set up by our Enemy, then I will have no hope.

I know you have ideas in this area, considering how many failed marriages you have under your belt. I would greatly appreciate your insight.

She has a small sense inside that how she is tearing down her husband is wrong, however, her pride is such a monumental piece to her coping skills that I can cause it to rise above any shame and guilt she feels.

I know shame is a great way to keep our assignments planted on our prison beds in their minds, but I have a far greater foothold on Lisa with pride. I can convince her to think of herself lowly like she’s unworthy and in the same day elevate her opinion about her self-sufficiency. As long as she’s focused on “self”, be it lowly or highly, I can win and… she will fall.

Her work friends are better for her than her church friends. I need to convince her that the work people “get” her and don’t criticize her like the church ladies do. In reality, they never actually have judged her, but her own feelings of guilt at lunch projected her own ideas of what they might think. Her presumptions will keep her from seeking out their friendship further. 

This will allow me to use her work friends to influence and promote her lack of contentment at home. It will also double as protection from the church friends directing her to our Enemy.

I look forward to your advice on how to destroy marriages.

Yours Truly,

Sepitus